When Emotion is the Fault
The Day of My Propose
I was in my
village. My room is in ground floor. In the afternoon I told Baptuda (the owner
of the Xerox shop) not to switch off his phone because I’d need his help. He
was agreed to do that and asked the reason. I explained my plan to him and he
wished me good luck. I was nervous and slightly restless. The ashtray was about
to full. After taking my dinner I called her and asked about her dinner. I knew
it very well. I knew her timetable very well. After few words I hang up. We
normally talked after completion of our study hours. But that day I couldn’t
concentrate. I was restless and nervous. It’s hard for me to wait anymore.
Suddenly I received her text message.
I was
surprised to read her message. I was about to smoke. The cigarette was in my
hand but I couldn’t smoke. She was very much caring. “She is my love, my Titir
and I’m going to propose her today.” I told myself. I was too much nervous and
just trying to control me helplessly. My brain and my heart were fighting for
my decision. My heart supports my decision and my brain just trying to stop me.
I was confused. I’d no idea about my next step but finally I cheered up myself.
The decision was taken. I must propose her. I was waiting for her call.
It was near
about 12.30 a.m. 16th December 2007. As the reply to her miscall, I
dialed her number. I felt speechless. I felt scared. I didn’t know what to say
or how to start.
“hey hello……
Now tell me. I can’t wait anymore.” She said in a cut voice. I loved that
voice. Her voice helped me to feel better. Her voice played a melodious tune in
my heart.
“Hmmm…… ”I
responded her.
“Ok, then
tell me na…..” she was amazing. My heart won over my brain.
“Ya. But I
don’t know how to start” I told the truth.
“Why? I
don’t know how but you have to say all these right now. I can’t wait. Please
try to understand my situation. Please tell me na…..” she told.
“Ok. The
topic is serious. You told me the criteria of your boyfriend. I thought and now
I think I can apply for you” I replied in a naughty but serious tone.
“What?!” she
surprised. I could imagine her facial expressions. I was trying to make a
sketch of her in my mind.
“Ya.
Actually I’m not a bad guy. Isn’t it?”
“Hmmm…….”taking
a while she started “listen I don’t know how to answer you but I’m waiting for someone”.
She was serious.
I was about
to cry but I controlled my emotions and replied her normally “who is he?”
“I don’t
know but ……” she was confused.
“I’m the
person who can fulfill your every criterion, who can take care of you, who is
your best friend. You are comfortable to me. I’m also comfortable to you. Our
frequency is near about same. I can feel you. I don’t know what to say except
that I love you. I love you lot. Will you be mine?” I felt some relief. I felt
better. At last I proposed her.
“I don’t
know what to say. It’s very difficult for me to lose a friend like you. You are
very sweet. I know that. You are emotional. I like you very much but till now I
never say yes to any proposals from boys.” She paused and taking a while she
started again”I know how much close we are but I never imagined you as my
boyfriend. I can share my every word with you……”she couldn’t explain properly.
“Then? What
is your answer? Yes or no? What do you think?” I asked her.
She was
confused. She was scared. I was able to feel her situation as I was also in
same situations. I just asked her about her feelings to me. She didn’t talk
normally. I was between happy and sorrow. I was waiting for her answer holding
my breath. To control my nerves I started to smoke sitting on a bench outside
the room. My balance was about to finish.
“Please wait
for a while. I’ll call you within 2 minutes. Till then you should think about
your answer. Ok? Please don’t mind” I told her and disconnect the call. It was
near about 2 a.m. I called Baptuda for recharge. He did this with a smile and
wanted the update. I told him the updates quickly and disconnect the phone.
Soon I dialed her number.
“Sorry.
Actually my balance was about to finish. That’s why I called for balance
recharge so that we can talk. Anyway what do you think? What is your answer?” I
told her.
“Hmm… I
don’t know why I can’t say you “no”. I don’t know what I should say. I’m
totally confused. I know I can spend my life in happiness with you but the
route may not be easy. There must be some ups and downs. And above all my
family is my first priority in my life. I won’t do anything against my family.”
She sounded her maturity.
“I know all
this very well. I must take care of you. And…..” we both were happy.
Then we lost
ourselves in each other. I felt me like a feather. Everything was so perfect.
The dark sky, the cold wind, and the stars everything congratulates me for my
new life. I was entering into a new stage of my life. I was very happy. I want
to assign a name for her. We were discussing about names. At last she happily
accepted a name. The name is “Titir”. In the mean time I recharged my phone
balance once more and told Baptuda about her answer, he congratulated me with a
smile. I called her Titir because of her nature. She was talkative, frankly,
lovely, cute, nice, and childish and bla bla……
It was near
about 4 a.m. I nature was calm and the night was beautifully ending. The birds were
on the threshold of a new day. They started to sing. I felt awesome.
“Then what about my name? How will you call
me? You have to suggest a name for me” I demanded to her.
“ok. Let me
think. “She started to think and after taking few minutes she announced”Ankush.
It should be perfect for you”.
I
appreciated her for her choice. I was in my best days of my life.
“Ok Titir. Call you in the morning. Bye. Good
night. Sweet dreams. Take care. Bye” I told her happily.
“Hmm… but is
there anything else?” she was little bit surprised. I thought about her demand.
“Love you
Titir. Bye” I replied with a smile and I was dying to see her face. I was
happy. At last I was able to propose her and she accepted it. It was a great time
for me. I wanted to tell this in a loud voice so that everybody was able to
hear. I felt terrible happy after a long time but wanted to hear those sweet
words from her. So I forced her for the reply and then she told me “love you
too Ankush. Take care. Bye
(Shankhachil).
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