next to love

It was 15^th December 2007. Time was near about 10 a.m. I was in “Adda” with some of my friends. Her roommate was not Bengali. She is just like a child and had a good bonding with Titir. On that day she wrote a poem and Titir called me to hear that. They are fighting like child and they were very enthusiastic. At last Titir was able to read this. The poem is about love. She was not comfortable in Bengali but still her effort and emotions was appreciated by me.

I asked her “What do you think about love?”  I was little bit serious but my tone was funny.

She smiled and asked “why?!?!”

“Nothing. Just want to know about the criteria about your would be boyfriend” I replied with naughty smile.

“Oooooohh!! W…h….y…!!!!!! Why are you so curious!!?? ” she asked again.

“Listen, actually I want to know the criteria so that I can apply to you some day…..” I was in my mood and wanted to give her some signals and wanted her response. I was cheered up by the warmth of sunrays and obviously she was with me.

She took a while and then started “unnnh… he should be a good person and he should be clean and he would take care of me and he should have friendly in nature and the back portion of ear must be clean and his shocks must not be dirty and…. ”.

There were so many ands. She was demanding. I knew that very well. She demands attention to her. She was just like a sweet baby. I just love her. My mood was melodious. Everything was so beautiful. The slow wind was blowing; the sunrays wrapped me by its warmth. I was in dream. I started my day with her cute voice and at night I went to sleep after wishing her good night. We talked several times. We talked for several hours.

After a while I wished her bye and I disconnected the phone and just enjoyed the blessings of nature. My friends were waiting for me to join them. I took a cigarette and started to smoke. While I was entering the room they started to pinch me by their naughty tone and words. I enjoyed that and I started to laugh with them. After few minutes we were ready to booze. As it was winter, the cold nature and our small get together forces us for the colored liquid. Then just after few minutes we all cheered with our first peg and took a big sip. We were met after few months and that was a good time for us. After few pegs we all were in mood. We were little bit emotional. We started to enjoy the moment. We had no interest about the time. We just boozed. That day I decided that I must told her that I love her. The decision was taken. I called her and she received the phone with a veryyyyyy cute smile. It was awesome. I felt better.

“Hello… ”                   

“Hello….. What are you doing!? ” she asked.

“Nothing special just was in our Adda and now on my way to home” I replied simply.

“Anything wrong?!” she must felt something wrong. Women have some extra special organs for fishy moments. They can smell that. I was drunken and highly emotional at that moment.

“No no. I’m fine. Actually I’ve something to tell you. I don’t tell you those now but I’ll tell you everything at night. Please don’t mind” I told in a serious tone.

“Isn’t it! Then tell me now. I can’t wait. You know that. Please please tell me right now. I don’t want to know anything. You have to say all those now” her voice was demanding.

“No. I won’t tell you anything now. I told you. I must tell those at night and keep patience. Don’t worry” I felt better after completing the sentence.

“I want to hear those now. Please” she was cute. She was sweet. She was childish. I just love that. I was hard for me to control my emotions but I just hang up after a few words.

I was returning home with a great mood. Though I was able to grip the alcohol but was unable to control my feelings for her. I was singing. I just enjoyed the nature and her voice just flashed in my memory. Her cute smile, her childish demand, her dreams just flashed in me one after another. I was on my cycle and the road had nothing but me. I just talked with myself about what should I say and what not to say. I was confused. I couldn’t organize myself well for the night. I started to rehearse for the night. I was madly in her love. I enjoyed the moment. But my thoughts were helpless my harassment from my mother. She was angry for late as well as for the alcohol. My mother just threw a glance full with anger. I was scared but wanted to control the situation. When I started to explain, my mother just ordered me for bath ignoring me completely. It was hard for me to be silent but I’d no other options except silently follow the orders. After finishing my bath and then completing the launch I went to our football ground. There was nobody and the nature was extremely beautiful. I lost my words for describing the nature.

The poet inside me was thirsty. I just organized the words to describe this beauty in poetry. I found the emptiness of the field till it had an awesome beauty. It was just like someone was waiting for his/her love. I just felt that tune. As I was also waiting for her, I compared myself with nature. When someone is in love he/she finds everything beautiful and melodious. I just missed her badly. Suddenly I saw her name on my mobile’s screen. I was speechless. How? I‘d nothing to explain. My heart was shivering in happiness. I disconnect her call and called her back.

“Hello…. What are doing madam!?”

“Nothing. Please tell me those. I can’t wait anymore.” She was little bit confused.

“No I’ll tell you everything only at night. Ok? Please don’t force me to say no. it hurts” I told in a touchy voice.

“Ok. No need to say anything. Why will you bother about me? I can’t sleep but why will I say those to you!? Don’t worry. I’m fine” she was a bit off.

“What happened? Why are you so angry? Please don’t mind. I’m sorry. Actually I could not organize properly, that’s why I told you that. Please wait for few hours. Anyway can you feel nature” I asked.

She was well after my explanations and answered my question.

“Hmm…..  Sometimes…..  Why?” she was cute.  

Then soon we were busy in our conversation. We talked for hours about nature, our feelings for nature, the emptiness and our fight, our thought. After a while she became normal. She was talking just like a baby full of dreams. I noticed her with attention. I noticed her breathe, her cute smile, her demand, each and every moment I just noticed her. I was not that one who loves to break the rules but I was that one who was in love and ready to do anything for her. I can’t compare myself with my older version. This is the strength of love. I was in my best stage of my life but still I had fear about her. I feared to lose her. I didn’t know why but was nervous. I rehashed several times for the night. I reminded her again for the night talk. She replied with a sweet smile.